Navigating Healthy Technology Use: A Personal and Professional Perspective

by Director of Technology Brad Williams

As the Director of Technology at Rossman and a parent of two children—a 23-year-old son and a 13-year-old daughter—I have had a front-row seat to the evolution of technology and its impact on our children’s lives. I've experienced firsthand the challenges and rewards of navigating the digital world as an educator and parent. I hope to share some insights to help guide our children toward healthy and balanced technology use.

Technology is a powerful tool that offers immense educational opportunities, creativity, and connectivity. However, as many of us have discovered, it also presents unique challenges. When my son was a teenager, the digital world vastly differed from today's. Social media was in its infancy, and smartphones were just beginning to become widespread. Fast forward to today, and my 13-year-old daughter is growing up in a world where technology is ubiquitous, with gaming and streaming platforms being an integral part of her daily life.

One of the most impactful decisions parents can make is waiting as long as possible before giving their child a cell phone or allowing them access to social media. Research shows that early exposure to smartphones and social platforms can contribute to anxiety, sleep issues, and difficulties with self-regulation. Delaying access allows children more time to develop crucial interpersonal skills, emotional resilience, and healthy habits outside the digital world.

In our home, we’ve intentionally postponed our daughter’s use of social media and smartphone ownership for as long as possible. We’ve found that waiting has encouraged her to engage more meaningfully in face-to-face interactions, participate in physical activities, and nurture friendships in offline spaces. While the pressure to conform to social norms can be high—especially as more of her peers get phones—it has been worth prioritizing her well-being and providing more time to grow into herself without the constant pull of digital validation.

If parents decide to introduce smartphones, it can help to start with limited functionality, such as using a basic phone or enabling only essential apps. This approach ensures children have gradual exposure, giving parents time to teach them about digital safety, etiquette, and balance without overwhelming them.

Another important lesson we have learned is the necessity of setting boundaries. With my son, the focus was more on limiting screen time and ensuring that technology didn’t interfere with schoolwork and family time. With my daughter, it’s about navigating a more complex landscape where social interactions, self-expression, and even schoolwork are intertwined with technology.

Setting boundaries doesn’t mean imposing strict limits that feel punitive; instead, it’s about fostering a balanced relationship with technology. For example, we have a rule in our home that screens are put away during family meals and before bedtime. This helps our daughter disconnect from the digital world and reinforces the importance of face-to-face interactions and quality sleep.

Another critical aspect of healthy technology use is maintaining open communication. When my son was a teenager, we had many conversations about online safety and the importance of being mindful of what he shared online. With my daughter, the discussions are more nuanced, involving topics like cyberbullying and the impact of screen time on mental health.

Encouraging our children to talk openly about their online experiences helps us understand their perspectives and provides opportunities to guide them when necessary. It also builds trust, so they feel comfortable coming to us if they encounter something troubling online.

Our children learn a great deal from observing our behavior. If we want them to use technology responsibly, we must model that behavior ourselves. We limit our screen time in our home, especially during family activities. We also engage in non-digital hobbies together, whether going for a walk, playing a board game, or reading a book.  One of our favorite activities is a “phone-free” outing, where we leave our devices behind when we run errands or go out to dinner. 

We can help our children develop similar habits by demonstrating a healthy balance between technology use and other aspects of life.

At Rossman School, we emphasize digital citizenship as part of our curriculum, teaching students not only how to use technology effectively but also how to use it responsibly. This includes understanding the implications of their online actions, recognizing the importance of privacy, and developing critical thinking skills to evaluate the content they encounter. As parents, we can reinforce these lessons at home by discussing what our children learn in school and applying those principles to real-life situations.

Even though my daughter is 13 (which meets the age requirement to create social media accounts), my wife and I have decided only to allow her to do so once she is at least 16.   It was not a well-received announcement at our house and led to tense conversations, but we know what is best for our daughter.  I encourage you to do what is best for your child.  My wife and I are aligned with Rossman's joint statement with other St. Louis schools regarding smartphones and social media (here is the link to the letter). 

It’s easy to focus on technology's negative aspects, but it’s equally important to recognize and embrace its positive aspects. Technology has enabled my children to stay connected with friends and family, especially during the challenging times of the pandemic. It has also allowed them to explore their interests, including coding, digital art, music notation, and audio recording.

By highlighting the positive ways technology can enhance our lives, we can help our children develop a healthy relationship with it. Encouraging them to use technology creatively and constructively can lead to rewarding experiences and future career opportunities.

Navigating the digital world is a shared journey between parents, educators, and children. As a parent, I’ve found that this journey requires patience, adaptability, and a willingness to learn alongside our children. As a technology director, I’m committed to supporting our Rossman community in fostering a balanced approach to technology use.

Ultimately, the goal is not to shield our children from technology but to equip them with the tools and mindset to use it wisely. By working together, we can help our children thrive in a digital age while maintaining the values and well-being essential to their growth.